For years my work outside companies consisted of coordinating volunteers for charities. Having grown up in a context of constant economic crises like the one in my country, I decided to share my experiences and motivational tools and, above all, self-motivation.
How many times your head said something was impossible and then you did it? How many times did you see someone say “no” without finishing listening? Due to situations like these, I decided to share the path of negotiating with myself, to test my limitations and to encourage teams to strive to keep us motivated even against the current.
In my beautiful country, Argentina, we don’t have a “The best is yet to come” mentality, but rather “All the past time was better.” The mental diet in Buenos Aires oscillates between protests, complaints and pessimism: a shared perspective that, although it helps us maintain minimum expectations and frustrations, limits us in the same way.
Positive to ourselves
We give what we have and reap what we sow. In a negative environment and full of repetitive tasks (in our homes, study and work) to encourage and break the negativity is not an option but a necessity. If we want well-being, we must first prepare our ground (and not expect another person or circumstances to do so) by observing what we feel and externalizing it in constructive ways.
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.”Mahatma Gandhi
Sometimes we don’t realize that we let experiences or mandates of the environment define our day to day. To review this structure an exercise as simple as effective is to listen carefully to our inner voice to distinguish if our ideas and answers are born from our authenticity here and now or if they are automatisms. Does our mind warn us of a danger? Does it create non-existent dramas? Does it encourage or sink us? This way we can identify its objective or recalculate it.
No one can love us better than ourselves. In my case, being my own cheerleader kept my focus on the objective and encouragement during the process: sometimes I congratulated myself by buying something tasty, sometimes sharing achievements with my family and other times just breathing looking at the sky but never giving more entity to the frustration that to progress or comparing myself (unless it was to inspire me) Even staying can be a cause for celebration!
Positive to our tasks
The most intense project that I lived was to update hundreds of websites for a carmaker and although the volume itself was gigantic (and it tended to become increasingly complex) never by the foreign team there were complaints, nor did I hear what was logical : “it is impossible” or “it will go wrong”. All his answers were: “let’s try”, “we look for another way” and in the worst case (when everything depends on possible tiny) “hopefully”. So I learned that predisposing ourselves in a positive way is a context independent decision and is more creative than choosing negative.
The more repetitive and stressful a job is, the more we need to choose healthy and sustainable emotions. Feeling anguish for 8 hours from Monday to Friday is not free. Do you think your body will be intact from absorbing daily anger, worries and frustration? for them we must integrate emotional intelligence into our tasks recognizing emotions and managing to influence our behavior in a constructive way, helping to maintain integrity and effectiveness by unlocking situations and coloring each intervention.
For example: Anger generates extra energy to attack what outrages us. We can choose to repress it, complain, express it violently or use it as fuel to generate assertive communication and even generate creative agreements to solve what afflicts us. Another example: Anguish. That oppression or emptiness in the chest or stomach calls us to make a change and perhaps it is the best opportunity to be honest and put on the table or at least investigate what system we are in, decide to improve it or leave it. How many emotions do we recognize during the day? Do we handle them or put them at our service?
Positivos between ourselves
Competitiveness makes us forget we have similar needs and aspirations: from a salary to the search for success and recognition. Good wishes humanize our tasks and put us on the right side of the story: we all feel allies in the right direction no matter how much the boat shakes; Thus we disarm ourselves, leave conspiracy theories aside and discover the inevitable confidence that teamwork requires. When we focus on our development there is no energy to criticize others but to accompany them. We have enough to improve instead of focus on the negative.
We spend a lot of energy to discover other people’s mistakes when the only attitude towards the error should be to amend it (when possible) and learn to prevent it (always). Our answer should in no way be “It’s not my problem” but “Can I help you with something?” If the allocation and resolution processes are correctly designed, we stop looking for guilty and find responsibles. It only takes empathy to realize that if we were in each other’s place, exposing ourselves more would not help at all. Guilt and punishment only last a (bad) moment but responsibility builds not only a solution, but a resolute and honest attitude forever. It is up to us to feed relationships or expose who tomorrow could be our boss.
“I always knew that it’s betterShakira
When one must speak of two
To start with oneself“
We can all be victims of our emotions, stress and criticism … Me too! But I chose not only to work on my tasks and with my teams but also on my mental habits. The changes are not instantaneous but deep and lasting. It is incomparable the feeling of (after so much practice) to be able to renew my projects, to be like those positive people with whom I always wanted to be, to influence my surroundings and to surround myself with people who return my smile Yes! It also cost me in the beginning but the practice makes perfect!